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Kent Basson asked:

Ask yourself this: What is the aberration amid accepting acceptable sex, and accepting abundant sex? Is it positions used? The affability of your partner? How abundant foreplay you do? How physically fit you are? How able-bodied able you are? Well, these are important, but there are two greater concepts you charge to accept if you wish to accept abundant sex, sending your accomplice wild…

I accept you may accept assertive 'beliefs' about sex. I did too. But it wasn't until I did some account up from the masters of sex that I became absolutely abundant at sex, and accept me if I say I anticipation I was god-like in the bedchamber before account these sex secrets…

Ha! Little did I apperceive aback then. So what 2 means do I use to accept abundant sex? Let me explain briefly:

I apperceive how to body up animal action in my partners. From my aboriginal 'plays' to giving her a loud orgasm, it's all congenital up slowly. This is key to accepting abundant sex.

I apperceive dozens of sex techniques. This is basic for one reason: Getting unpredictable. As anon as your accomplice starts to adumbrate your moves, the bold is up and the sex becomes beneath great, alone acceptable or even mediocre.

Sex Tip 1

Learn as abounding positions, techniques and sex tricks as possible. This is because you accept to be capricious during a sex affair to get your lover as animal angry as possible. Simply put, if you're anticipated in bed, your lover will anon get angry off.

There absolutely is annihilation worse about sex than arid anticipated sex.

Sex Tip 2

You accept to apprentice the art of getting able to body up animal activation in your lover from alpha to finish. If your lover is not as angry on appear the accomplishment than they were abreast the alpha — again there accept to be something traveling wrong. Maybe it got too predictable…

Sex Tip 3

It doesn't amount how acceptable searching you are, or how 'big' you are, – what affairs is that you are sexually confident. Someone who is shy and afraid during sex is just irritating. So apprentice as abundant as you can about sex, lighten up sexually and go for it! Get as abundant amusement as accessible for both yourself and your lover and you won't go far wrong…

What about affiliated men calling for buzz sex on their way home from work, or during Thursday Ladies Night Outs? What about them? Are they cheating? No, Buzz sex is not cheating. Buzz sex is entertainment, and it is abundant bigger ball than TV or Porn – its alternate and a lot added 'effective'.

Sex is great, and you should consistently try to adore every affair that you are accepting with your lover. There is no such approach that sex activity will become addled afterwards a brace has been calm for some time. I anticipate this is just an excuse.

You are the one who can accomplish the choice. You can either accept to abort your animal acquaintance with your lover by accepting boring, rushing, and impassionate sex, or about-face up the calefaction and accomplish every animal affair with your lover a accomplishing and agitate experience.

Water based sex lubricant:

This is the favorite sex lubricant; it is actual acceptable and affable to acrylic – diaphragm and condom. The down ancillary is that it can dry up calmly such that animal action gets disconnected from time to time to add added of the baptize based sex lubricants.

Oil based sex lubricant:

This sex adipose will endure best during intercourse, but you accept to be careful, because oil based sex lubricants abase acrylic and as such condoms or diaphragms become chancy protectors adjoin both exceptionable abundance and sexually transmitted disease. Your condom or diaphragm can accord abroad after warning, and oil based sex lubricants can as well could cause affliction to the vagina.

First and foremost, acquaint about your desires appear first. There is no abundant sex after alternate understanding. Talk to your accomplice about the abundance of sex, what anniversary added anticipate about the superior of sex, what you like and do not like about the accepted sex life, and a lot of chiefly what affectionate of changes both parties would like to see. Try to authority this array of affair regularly, like account or weekly. This can be done on the coffee table or in bed. Communication about your sex activity is the aboriginal and a lot of important footfall and cannot be skipped.

House Sex – This is if you are aboriginal affiliated and sex is cast new and exciting. You accept sex frequently in abounding locations in the house.

Bedroom Sex – This if some of the addition has beat off anticipation sex is still acceptable and fun. Just a little beneath common and bound to the bedchamber for the a lot of part.

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Safe and Hygienic Sex Toys and Vibrators

by admin on March 8, 2009

Vivavibrators Webmaster asked:

Why safe and hygienic sex is important?

Safe sex is very important for both male and female sex partners. It keeps unwanted sexual infections away. If you want to enjoy healthier and happier sex life, then you need to keep your sex organs hygienic. You should follow safe sex guidelines that help to prevent all sexually transmitted infections. Unhygienic sex invites infections easily.

You should take necessary precautions for safe sex before using sex aids like sex toys. If you share sex toys with other partners, you need to keep protection level high. Always wash sex toys before any type of sexual foreplay. It keeps you safe if you wash sex toys between acts of sex. You should use separate sex toys for different sexual actions. It ensures safety from sexual infections, which you can catch easily.

Hygienic sex toys and vibrators

Hygienic sex toys and vibrators help to keep your genital organs free from any sexual infection. When you buy sex toys and vibrators, you should ensure that there are no cracks or tears. Hygienic sex toys and vibrators reduce the chances of any cross infection with your partner. If you use one sex toy or vibrator on more than one part for body, then you should wash and clean the sex toy after each use. If you maintain unhygienic conditions, sexual infection can easily grip your genital organs.

Use sex toys that contain high quality material

You should always buy good quality sex toys and vibrators. This ensures safety of your vital sex organs. A vibrator penetrates deep into the vagina. If it is made from ordinary material, it may cause damage to the sensitive blood vessels inside the vagina. It may even give rise to infection in your sensitive parts. Therefore, you should do some extensive research of the market before buying sex toys and vibrators. You can do it easily on the internet.

You can choose among masturbators, strap ons, vibrators, rabbit vibrators, fun vibrators, g-spot vibrators, jelly vibrators, realistic vibrators, classic vibrators, men vibrators, sex machines, Screaming O cock rings, anal toys and glass dildos for enhancing your sex life.

Availability of sex toys and vibrators at online resources

You have an easy option to search for sex toys and vibrators through online resources. There are many websites that provide information about latest and original sex toys available in the market. You can search for these websites and get relevant information.

You can also buy sex toys and vibrators online as this process is quite simple. All you need to do is research the internet and locate websites that sell sex toys. You can easily find all the required information about order processing and the reliability of the sex toys.

Maintenance of sex toys

It is very necessary for you to maintain your sex toys. You should clean the sex toys and vibrators thoroughly. If your sex toys or vibrators work on batteries, then you should remove the batteries after using these sex toys.

You should not expose sex toys and vibrators directly to sunlight or extreme temperature. You can safely put these sex toys in your bedroom drawer. It is always good to keep each sex toy separate and wrap them in cloth to protect and maintain them.

You should clean sex toys and vibrators thoroughly with very warm water. You should not use detergents or soap, unless you are sure it is antibacterial. Dry these sex toys after cleaning. Some kinds of sex toys need lot of care and attention from your side. If you use rubber sex toys, make sure to use them with condom. You should use hot water for cleaning latex sex toys.

There are many misconceptions in the minds of people about women's sex toys. It is general conception among people that only immoral women who have a high libido need sex toys. However, the fact is that sex toys and vibrators are the need of healthy and normal women. Men should soon change their minds about women. They should realize that women who use sex toys are not abnormal. It is the need of women to buy sex toys and vibrators to satisfy their inner desires of sex.

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G Marks the Spot

by admin on March 5, 2009

kicesie asked:

I get lots of messages with this question so hopefully this makes it a little clearer. Want a visual demonstration of how to find the G-Spot? Watch this video

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Them lovely Altoids

by admin on March 4, 2009

Ok, so they freshen your breath but did you know how much naughty fun you can have with these little white minty wonders?

This one is actually out there for one of those fun things to do on those warm winter nights. But for those of you who do not read Cosmo, these can be used quite nicely to enhace your oral sex sessions. The best part is that it works for both guys and girls and you'll even have fresh breath doing the deed! Now how about that??

For the ladies (or gentlemen), right before you go to town on your man, slap one or two of these bad boys in your mouth and that's it. Same thing for when doing the same to the women in your life… At first it will feel slghtly cool, but it immediately turns into a very good warmth which feels oh so good on you. To enhace the effect you can just blow lightly around the area to get that cool feeling again… Trust me on this one, you'll never look at Altoids in the same way again after an evening with them… =)

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Let his juices flow!

by admin on March 2, 2009

Dear Dave,

I'm a 30 y/o female and I enjoy watching my boyfriend cum during sex. Is there anything he can take or do to make him come more?

One thing that can really increase sperm production is just taking your time between sexual encounters. It makes sense naturally, the less you have sex, the more that builds up for you and him. Unfortunately you can not take any more pills or eat speacial foods to make him cum more. Keeping in shape and stress free also increases sperm production so just make sure you both are enjoying life to it's fullest without too many problems.

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Am I gay??

by admin on March 2, 2009

Dear Dave,

I am trying to decide if I am gay. I don't want to be, I want to have kids, and a proper family, etc, but lately I have been feeling that I am attracted to other guys. I don't have anything against gay people, it's just I don't want to be one. How do I tell? I haven't had a girlfriend in 6 years, and I am beginning to wonder if this is the reason. I am really in desperate need of your help, as a person who doesn't know me, so can't look at me in future and say "he's gay."

Well, obviously if you are solely sexually attracted to men, you are gay. If you're attracted to men and women sexually, then you're a bi-sexual and remember, "Everyone loves a Bi." If you're attracted to women and are curious about men, it simply means you're curious (and you can or can not act on that curiosity if you wish). Not having a girlfriend for 6 years doesn't mean you're gay friend, it just means you've been single for a while. Why haven't ya gotten back out there??

Now being gay is nothing bad and who says that you can not head a normally functional family because you're gay? You can most certainly adopt (there's also surrogate moms) and a family does not have to consist of a female (maternal) and male (paternal) unit… Look at all of the single parents out there and as long as your child is raised in a loving environment with proper guidance, you'll all be as happy as can be.

Take some time off of whatever you are doing and just do some deep soul searching… If you believe that you want to be with men (or women) just make sure that you are true to yourself and everything else will fall into place nicely. Don't play "normal" just to please everyone else, do what you feel in your heart is right for you.

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He doesn't desire me!

by admin on March 2, 2009

Dear Dave,

My husband and I have been married for a little over 6 months. One of the biggest issues in our marriage is sex. I understand that he doesn't want it as much as I do, however when he does want it, he is only out to satisfy himself. He refuses to touch my body, explore it, perform oral sex or anything. He simply achieves his orgasm and leaves me laying there to cry about how much I miss having a man's touch. This is really bothering, and has caused me to rethink the marriage and live in fear of having an extra marital affair. I have tried everything I can think of to spark his sex drive, however he still doesn't respond. I like sex a lot and need a man to remain active in our sex life, and one that wants to please me as much as I want to please him. Is this marriage over? Can you please tell me why he doesn't desire me and what I should do about it?

A little over 6 months and he's acting like this??

Ok hun, something is definitely wrong with him or there maybe another problem in the marriage that has been overlooked. Typically, a decrease in sex drive is caused by one of several things among men… Stress plays a major role as well as drugs, drinking, obesity, etc… Things that are bad for you normally really wreak havoc on a man's (and also women's) sex drive. Has he started a new job? Have you bought a new house? Thinking of having kids? Is he in line with the mafia? All of these things will make him go drier than the Mojave desert on a really hot day…. Has he gone to see a doctor just to see if it maybe something wrong with the plumbing? If this is medical in nature, then you can both resolve this matter very easily.

One question that I must ask is if he was this way before you got married, or did it just happen? If he was like this before you got married, then I have to ask why you married him in the first place. If he rocked your world every single night and then all of this just happened, then it may be one of the reasons I told ya about above or it could be other things that he is not telling you about.

The only thing I can offer as advice for you is to have the both of you see a counselor of sorts to help you resolve this problem. If he is reluctant to go, then you can try going yourself to at least get some answers and perhaps some new techniques to help drive up his sex drive. If after that you both find that this is not helping either of you any, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate your marriage and what you both expect out of it. Good luck!

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Ways to chart your fertility pattern

by admin on March 2, 2009

…A woman's fertile period depends on the life span of sperm as much as it does on the life span of her egg. The egg lives for about a day. A man's sperm can live inside a woman's body for about five days—possibly seven. Fertilization of a woman's egg is more likely from intercourse before or during ovulation than from intercourse following ovulation. It usually occurs during a six-day period that ends in ovulation.

In total, a woman has a good chance of becoming pregnant from unprotected vaginal intercourse over the course of about nine days of her menstrual cycle—as long as seven days before the release of an egg (ovulation), the day of ovulation, and, possibly, the day after ovulation. She is less likely to become pregnant from unprotected intercourse in the day or two following ovulation, but it is possible.

Understanding her monthly fertility pattern can help a woman avoid an unintended pregnancy. It can also help her plan a pregnancy. The key is for her to know when fertilization may occur by estimating the time of ovulation as nearly as possible. This must be done carefully because the timing of ovulation varies greatly from one woman to another and, for some women, from one month to the next.

Women who monitor their fertility to prevent pregnancy may choose to abstain from vaginal intercourse for at least one-third of each menstrual cycle or to use barrier methods or withdrawal during that time. Periodic abstinence and fertility awareness methods are the two methods of contraception that depend on charting your fertility pattern.

Couples who want to prevent pregnancy using periodic abstinence do not have vaginal intercourse during their "unsafe days"—the days during which the fertile phase may occur. Although they abstain from vaginal intercourse during the fertile days, they may enjoy other forms of sex play.

Couples who use fertility awareness methods (FAMs) use withdrawal or barrier contraceptives—condoms, vaginal pouches, diaphragms, or cervical caps—during their fertile or "unsafe days."

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Understanding Your
Menstrual Cycle

Understanding your menstrual cycle is essential for your good health. It is especially important if you want to chart your fertility pattern as a method of contraception.

The monthly pattern that occurs regularly in most women, from puberty to menopause, is called the menstrual cycle. Every cycle is divided into two parts 3/4before ovulation and after ovulation. In a 28-day cycle, the pattern usually follows this timing:

  • The beginning of the cycle, called Day 1, is the day bleeding begins. The flow usually lasts about three to five days. Usually by Day 7, certain hormones cause some of the eggs in the ovaries to start ripening. Between Days 7 and 11, the lining of the uterus begins to thicken. The influence of additional hormones after Day 11 causes the egg that is most ripe to be released on about Day 14 in women who have a 28-day cycle. The other ripening eggs stop growing and dry up. That's part one.
  • In the second part, the egg travels down the fallopian tube toward the uterus. If a single male sperm unites with the egg while it is in the tube, the fertilized egg may attach to the spongy lining of the uterus. Pregnancy begins if this "implantation" occurs. If fertilization doesn't take place, the egg cell wil break apart in a day or two. About Day 25, hormone levels drop. This causes the lining of the uterus to break down and in a few days it is shed in a menstrual period. Another cycle has begun.

For some women, cycles recur fairly regularly every 28 days. But the number of days in each cycle can vary from woman to woman, from every 21 to every 35 days. In fact, a few women have only three or four cycles a year.

The first part of the cycle, from menstruation to ovulation, may vary from 13 to 20 days in length. The length of the first part is not only different from one woman to another, but also differs in some women from month to month. It is during this critical first part of the cycle that fertilization can occur. Such common circumstances as sickness, worry, physical exertion, and even sudden changes in climate may occasionally upset a regular pattern by shortening it or extending it.

The second part of the cycle, from ovulation to menstruation, is about the same length in all women. The egg is released consistently 14 to 16 days before the onset of menstruation, regardless of the length of a woman's menstrual cycle.

There are a few women who believe they can tell when the egg has been released from the ovary. Some report having a slight pain in the back, or on the right or left side of the lower abdomen. A few may also have some increased vaginal discharge—a little blood-tinged or clear discharge from the vagina. But it is generally accepted that none of these is a sure signal that an egg has been released—the same symptoms can be caused by other factors.

Ways to Chart
Your Fertility Pattern

Here are brief descriptions of the changes you can chart to predict when you ovulate in order to plan or prevent pregnancy. More complete descriptions follow.

  • For the temperature method: Take your temperature every morning before getting out of bed. Your temperature rises between 0.4?F and 0.8?F on the day of ovulation. It remains at that level until your next period.
  • For the cervical mucus method: Observe the changes in your cervical mucus. You must do so all through the first part of your menstrual cycle, until you are sure you have ovulated. Normally cloudy, tacky mucus will become clear and slippery in the few days before ovulation. It also will stretch between the fingers. When this happens you are in your most fertile phase. You must abstain from vaginal intercourse or use a barrier contraceptive during this time.
  • For the calendar method: Chart your menstrual cycles on a calendar. You may be able to predict ovulation if your periods are the same every month. You must abstain or use a barrier method during your "unsafe days." It will be more difficult to predict the day of ovulation if the length of your cycle varies from month to month. In that case, you will have more "unsafe days." It is best not to rely on this method alone.

It is best to combine the temperature method, the cervical mucus method, and the calendar method. The combination of these methods is called the symptothermal method. (For a copy of Fertility Pattern Chart, click here and print.)

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Temperature
Method

One of the changes that ordinarily take place in a woman's body as part of her menstrual pattern is that her body temperature is lower during the first part of the cycle. In most women it usually rises slightly with ovulation and remains up during the second part until just before her next period. Recording each day's temperature helps to indicate when ovulation has occurred.

The temperature method requires charting your basal body temperature (BBT), the temperature your body registers when you're completely at rest. BBT varies slightly from person to person. For most women, 96 to 98 degrees taken orally is considered normal before ovulation and 97 to 99 after. The changes are small fractions—from 1/10

to 1/2 degree. So it's best to get a special, large-scale, easy-to-read thermometer that registers only from 96 to 100 degrees. A rectal or oral basal temperature thermometer can be bought in most drug stores for about $10. Generally, rectal readings are more reliable. But whichever you choose, take your temperature the same way every day.

Taking Your Temperature
Each morning take your temperature, as soon as you wake up—before getting out of bed, talking, eating, drinking, having sex, or smoking. Either insert the thermometer in your rectum or place it in your mouth for a full five minutes. Read the temperature to within 1/10 of a degree and record the reading.

Charting Your Temperature Pattern
Each reading must be recorded. Charts for this purpose may be obtained from your clinician or women's health center. As each day's temperature is plotted on the graph, you will learn to recognize your own pattern. Your temperature rise may be sudden, gradual, or in steps. The pattern may vary from cycle to cycle.

You must also realize that your BBT can be influenced by physical or emotional upsets or even lack of sleep. In addition, illness, emotional distress, jet lag, disturbed sleep, smoking, drinking an unaccustomed amount of alcohol the night before, and using an electric blanket may affect your body temperature. Noting such events on the chart helps to interpret the readings.

In the beginning, you should get help in reading your BBT chart from a physician, nurse, or family planning specialist. In time, under supervision, you'll gain the knowledge and confidence to use the chart by yourself. Be sure to chart your temperature for at least three months before relying on this method.

The Safe Times
After the temperature rise has lasted for at least three days, you can assume that your safe days have begun. They will last until the temperature drop that usually comes just before the onset of your next menstrual period. For complete protection, consider unsafe all the days between the start of your period and the start of the fourth day of the next temperature rise. That is because the temperature method is quite accurate in detecting when ovulation has occurred, but can't predict when it's about to happen. And there's another important reason why the whole first part of the cycle must be considered unsafe—the lifetime of a man's sperm.

Sperm generally remain capable of fertilizing an egg for two to three days after ejaculation. There are even instances of sperm remaining active five or more days after intercourse. So if you have sexual intercourse several days before ovulation, there's a good chance that live sperm could still fertilize a newly released egg. Combining BBT with another method may help in trying to calculate ovulation in advance.

When you become confident about using your BBT to determine your safe days, you may not need to take your temperature between the start of the infertile time and the beginning of your next menstrual period.

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Cervical
Mucus Method

The cervical mucus method is based on another change that occurs during the menstrual cycle. The hormones that control menstrual cycle phases also act on the glands of the cervix that produce mucus secretions. The mucus secreted by the cervix collects in the cervix and vagina. It changes in quality and quantity just before and during ovulation. With proper personal instruction, many women can learn to recognize the changing characteristics. Instruction in the cervical mucus method is usually given on a one-to-one basis. The cervical mucus method is also known as the ovulation method or the Billings method.

The Mucus Pattern

  • The cycle begins with menstruation. During vaginal bleeding, the flow disguises the mucus signs.
  • The menstrual period is usually followed by a few days when no mucus is present —these are "dry days."
  • As an egg starts to ripen, mucus increases in the vagina and appears at the vaginal opening. It is generally yellow or white, and it is cloudy and sticky.
  • The greatest amount of cervical mucus usually occurs immediately before ovulation during the "wet days." The mucus takes on a clear and slippery quality that resembles raw egg whites. When the mucus can be stretched between the fingers, it is called spinnbarkeit—German for stretchable. This is the peak period of fertility.
  • About four days after the wet days begin, mucus may abruptly become cloudy and sticky, reduce sharply in volume, and a few dry days may return before your period starts.
  • MenstrualChart09.gif (13919 bytes)

Charting Your Mucus Pattern
As with the other methods, records need to be kept. It's suggested that a woman chart her observation daily on a calendar. Mark the days of your menstrual period, the dry days, sticky days, and wet days. It's best for a woman to avoid intercourse for at least one whole cycle when you start to use the mucus method for birth control. Get someone with experience to help you become familiar with your own pattern until you are able to interpret the changes yourself.

A woman can check her mucus in several ways, depending on which is most comfortable for her. She can :

  • wipe the vaginal opening with toilet tissue before urination
  • observe the discharge on underpants
  • obtain some of the mucus by placing her fingers (making sure they are clean) in the vagina.

She should check several times a day when there is any sign of mucus.

This method is less reliable for women who produce little mucus or if the natural mucus pattern is altered by:

  • using douches, "feminine hygiene" products, or contraceptive foams, creams, jellies, or suppositories
  • surgery that is performed on the cervix—especially if cryotherapy or a loop electrosurgical excision procedure is used
  • vaginitis
  • sexually transmitted infections
  • breastfeeding
  • perimenopause
  • recent use of hormonal contraceptives.

Women who ovulate on Day 7 or 8 may produce too little mucus to use this method.

The Safe Times

  • It is considered unsafe to have vaginal intercourse during menstruation, especially during shorter cycles. Vaginal bleeding can disguise the mucus signs. Non-menstrual vaginal bleeding around the time of ovulation may be mistaken for a menstrual period.
  • Intercourse may take place during the brief period of safe dry days that may follow menstruation in a long cycle.
  • The fertile phase begins at the first sign of wetness after menstruation, but it may also begin a day or two before wetness begins. Intercourse must be avoided on any wet day, unless you are trying for a pregnancy—fertilization is most likely to occur during this phase. Otherwise, you must refrain from sex for at least three days after ovulation or until the wet days end, whichever is the longer number of days.
  • It is considered safe to have sex after ovulation when mucus sharply decreases in volume and becomes cloudy and sticky again. It is considered even safer to have intercourse during the dry days that may follow before your period begins.

Fewer pregnancies occur when intercourse takes place only on the dry days following ovulation.

The Calendar
Method

The calendar method attempts to predict ovulation using a woman's menstrual history. A written record is kept—an ordinary calendar can be used to note each cycle, counting from the first day of one menstrual period up to, but not including, the first day of the next. The day bleeding starts is Day 1, and you mark this by circling that date on the calendar. Continue to circle Day 1 for at least 8 months (12 is better). Then you count the days in each cycle.

Of course, you have no assurance that your cycle variations will remain the same. So you must continue to circle each Day 1 and list the length of your last cycle.

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The Role of the Calendar Method
These rules can only help you to find out a couple of days in advance when you probably will ovulate. Calendar records should always be used with other methods explained in this booklet. Always be guided by any sign that says you may be fertile. The calendar method is especially chancy if your cycles are not always the same length.

Charting Your Pattern
Keep a record of the number of days in each cycle. When bleeding starts, circle the date on your calendar.

To find the first day you are likely to be fertile, check your record of previous months, find the shortest cycle, and subtract 18 from the total number of days. For example, if the shortest cycle is 26 days long, subtract 18 from 26, which leaves 8. Starting with the date you circled (the first day of your current cycle) count ahead eight days and draw an X through that second date. That's the first day you're likely to be fertile and, therefore, the first day of abstinence or contraceptive use. But if your temperature chart shows even a slight shift before that, don't have unprotected intercourse until three full days after your temperature rise.

To find the last day you must abstain or use contraception with the calendar method, subtract 11 days from your longest cycle. Draw an X through that date also. Remember, you need to chart your cycles for at least eight months before you can calculate your safe times. Be sure to confirm this with other methods.

The Safe Times
Safer times are likely from the first day of menstruation, Day 1, which you have circled, to the first X. They are also likely from the second X to the next circle. Unsafe days appear between the two X's.

Remember: if all your cycles are shorter than 27 days, don't try to use calendar estimates at all. The first part of any cycle may be irregular. Trying to add a few days of intercourse in the early part of your cycle can be risky when attempting to prevent an unplanned pregnancy. Learning the meaning of changes in your normal vaginal discharge may reduce miscalculations. But always be guided by any sign that says you may be fertile.

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Using These
Methods Together

Using all three methods: temperature, cervical mucus, and calendar, is called the symptothermal method. The symptothermal method allows a woman to be more accurate in predicting her safe days than if she uses any one of the methods alone. When using these methods together, the signs of one can serve to confirm those of the other. For example, a record of the mucus pattern can be useful because temperature rises resulting from illness or emotional stress may be confusing. Combining methods also permits sexual relations during the early dry days, and shortens the period of abstinence necessary for complete protection when using the temperature method alone.

In the post-ovulation method, couples abstain from vaginal intercourse or use withdrawal or a barrier method from the beginning of the woman's period until the morning of the fourth day after her predicted ovulation. A woman is much less likely to be fertile after ovulation has occurred (post-ovulation). However, couples who practice the post-ovulation method must abstain from vaginal intercourse or use withdrawal or a barrier method for more than half of the woman's menstrual cycle.

How Well These Methods Work
Of 100 couples who use any of these methods for one year, 20 women will become pregnant with typical use. The failure rate is higher for single women. Combining the various methods with careful and consistent use and having no unprotected vaginal intercourse during the fertile phase can give better results.

Of 100 couples who use the temperature method for one year with perfect use, two women will become pregnant.

Of 100 couples who use the cervical mucus method for one year with perfect use, three women will become pregnant.

Of 100 couples who use the calendar method for one year with perfect use, nine women will become pregnant.

Few couples, however, are able to use these methods perfectly. These methods require keeping consistent and accurate records. Some skill is required in figuring, and the margin for error depends on how accurately signs and records are interpreted and followed. It is most important that original explanations, early coaching, and frequent follow-up be done by a professional instructor or successful users. These methods work better for women whose cycles are always the same length.

Some couples chart the woman's fertility pattern to prevent pregnancy because it is economical, safe, and can be discontinued easily when pregnancy is desired. Little equipment is needed, and calendars, thermometers, and charts are widely available. No medication is involved, which is especially appealing to women who have physical or health conditions that might make other forms of birth control less desirable or unsuitable. Medical checkups are not required, although professional instruction is important. Periodic abstinence is acceptable to most religious groups. However, if a couple decides to have vaginal intercourse during the fertile period, pregnancy is likely to occur unless they use barrier methods such as a combination of condom and foam.

Charting fertility patterns requires dedication, education, and practice. It is most effective when both partners are mature, responsible, and committed to making them work. That's why it is very important for both partners to learn the fundamentals and support each other in observing the abstinence or contraceptive use that is required.

Women who are breastfeeding or approaching menopause may find it more difficult to chart their fertility. Their fertile signs may vary in unpredictable ways due to irregular hormonal fluctuations. Likewise, multiorgasmic women are also likely to ovulate unpredictably.

If you are taking the Pill or any other hormonal method, you'll have to stop taking it and use another method of contraception that has no hormones, such as a barrier method (condoms, diaphragm, cervical cap), while learning fertility awareness methods. Hormones in the Pill alter the natural menstruation and fertility cycle.

Do not depend on charting your fertility pattern if:


  • you have irregular periods
  • your partner is unwilling to observe periods of abstinence from vaginal intercourse, practice withdrawal, or use barrier methods at unsafe times
  • you have a sexually transmitted infection or frequent abnormal discharges
  • you cannot keep careful records.

Products for Use with These Methods
At this time no device exists that can simplify or ensure greater success with any of these methods. From time to time announcements are made of patented items to help in calendar calculation or to test mucus change by chemically treated paper, or of other products under development for this purpose. None has proven any more reliable for contraceptive purposes. Success in the use of any of these methods for predicting fertility is the result of good initial instruction, persistence, accuracy in keeping records, and cooperation by both partners in the discipline involved.

Test kits that attempt to predict ovulation are available for home use. They may be useful for planning pregnancies but are not reliable for purposes of birth control. Sperm can live in the fallopian tubes for about up to seven days. So, pregnancy often results from unprotected vaginal intercourse during the six days before ovulation.

Charting your fertility pattern can work for you if:


  • You have received careful instruction in the methods.
  • You have only one sex partner and he is equally committed to the methods you want to use.
  • You have the self-discipline required to check and chart your fertility signs and observe the rules.
  • You don't mind abstaining or using withdrawal or barrier methods for the first part of the cycle.

(For a copy of Fertility Pattern Chart, click here and print.)

Charting your fertility pattern may not be appropriate for you if:


  • You have more than one sex partner.
  • Your sex partner isn't equally committed to the methods you want to use.
  • You are temperamentally unsuited for keeping close track of your fertile days.
  • You have doubts about being able to abstain from vaginal intercourse for at least 10 days each month or to use a barrier method on "unsafe" days.
  • You wouldn't consider having an abortion although you have a medical condition that poses a grave danger for you if you become pregnant.
  • You take medication that may affect your cervical mucus, body temperature, or menstrual regularity.

Cost
Charts for graphing fertility signs cost little or nothing. They are available at family planning clinics and from private instructors and organizations. Basal body temperature thermometers cost about $10 to $12. You may have to pay a fee for classes to learn fertility awareness techniques. In some states, Medicaid will cover the cost of classes taken at a clinic or when authorized by a private physician.

Finding a teacher
Couples can learn how the woman's body signs serve as the basis of their contraceptive method by taking a course or being counseled by a health professional trained to teach methods to monitor fertility. Both partners should attend the sessions so each will be aware of precisely how these methods work. Not only will learning the methods together increase their effectiveness, but many couples report that cooperating on contraception helps them become more intimate.

Classes on charting fertility patterns for contraception are offered by many family planning health centers, church-affiliated instructors, and at Catholic hospitals, often at little or no cost.

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Rythm method explained (or not)

by admin on March 2, 2009

Dear Dave,

What is a girls most and least fertile times of the month?

Most fertile: Payday
Least fertile: Monday Night Football time… ;)

Ok, ok, ok… I know, I know, cheap shot but I couldn't resist.

Theoretically, a woman is most fertile just about a week to a week-and-a-half right before the time of menstruation because that's when the happy ovaries are delivering the paydirt. The least fertile time is usually right after the end of her period and also oddly enough during her period so get right to it! =)

However, women's fertility cycles are really really funky and it's in no fashion a guarantee that I am right. Check out this page just to see how god awful crazy things can get when trying this form of birth control… Take my advice dood, use condoms or if possible use birth control pills… MUCH easier!

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He never returns the favor

by admin on March 2, 2009

Dear Dave,

Hey! The site looks great. But anyways…. my boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year now, and I have been preforming fellatio on him for about the past four or five months. I like pleasing him, and this is simply the reason that I go down on him. He, however has gone down on me once, but never again, and has not let on as to why. I know that I cannot force him to do anything he is uncomfortable with, and I don't want him to feel pressured. I do, however, want to be eaten out! Can you suggest a way to get over this problem and a way to approach him on the subject? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks

Poor thing… So thoughfully giving yet sadly unappreciated.

Have you ever thought of just plain asking him as to why he does not do it? Some men such as he normally do might consider this as an integral part of intimacy (and I have no freagin' clue why??) and do not do it for that fact alone. Perhaps he thinks he is not so great at it so he abstains from performing and since he doesn't get asked, he thinks it's ok. It's amazing how much relationships are afftected by a lack of communication. Please don't be afraid to ask either as you are simply asking him and not pressuring him into it.

Now, a good way to ask would be by letting him know how sexy you think it is to see him doing this to you. Let him know how crazy it makes you feel and that may get him more into the mood to do it. Or how about trying this… Find a set of sheets that you do not mind dirtying up a bit. Grab him and place a chair in front of your bed and make him sit down. Tell him not to move until you say so and proceed to do your magic… Lie down on the bed, remove your clothing (any way you'd like) and then grab a can of whipped cream (or perhaps a bottle of syrup) and proceed to smother yourself with it. Do this for a little while to get him all riled up and let him loose on ya tasting his nice sundae treat… ;) When all is done, just let him know how much you love him doing it (that is if he's doing it right) and I'm sure he'll do this a hell of alot more…

Now, on the off chance that he isn't doing this to your liking, don't be let down. But make sure you are very vocal with how you like it when he's doing it! Men are very instruction-oriented and if you say a simple "To the left" or "Faster" or "Slower," he'll do it… Make sure you ackowledge what you like and if anything you'll help him help you. ;) I hope this info helps ya out and good luck!

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