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Dear Dave,
I am trying to decide if I am gay. I don't want to be, I want to have kids, and a proper family, etc, but lately I have been feeling that I am attracted to other guys. I don't have anything against gay people, it's just I don't want to be one. How do I tell? I haven't had a girlfriend in 6 years, and I am beginning to wonder if this is the reason. I am really in desperate need of your help, as a person who doesn't know me, so can't look at me in future and say "he's gay."
Well, obviously if you are solely sexually attracted to men, you are gay. If you're attracted to men and women sexually, then you're a bi-sexual and remember, "Everyone loves a Bi." If you're attracted to women and are curious about men, it simply means you're curious (and you can or can not act on that curiosity if you wish). Not having a girlfriend for 6 years doesn't mean you're gay friend, it just means you've been single for a while. Why haven't ya gotten back out there??
Now being gay is nothing bad and who says that you can not head a normally functional family because you're gay? You can most certainly adopt (there's also surrogate moms) and a family does not have to consist of a female (maternal) and male (paternal) unit… Look at all of the single parents out there and as long as your child is raised in a loving environment with proper guidance, you'll all be as happy as can be.
Take some time off of whatever you are doing and just do some deep soul searching… If you believe that you want to be with men (or women) just make sure that you are true to yourself and everything else will fall into place nicely. Don't play "normal" just to please everyone else, do what you feel in your heart is right for you.
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