Dear Dave,
I've been going out with my boyfriend for 9 months now. On my part it has been a roller coaster of emotions. When we first started spending time with each other I thought of it as "hanging out" Then the pace picked up. We both like each other. He deflowered me. My likeness of him grew into love……… Now our conversations on the phone leaves me sad and headaches. He asks me questions about my past flings. I answer them. But when I return the line of questioning, he pauses and run in circles. Til I get an anger in my voice then he elaborates. He has told me that he wanted me to dress a certain way…. showing off my body. But then contradicts when he says don't dress for guys. What?!
I'm currently unemployed and haven't gotten "my life" in order in respect to a career, financial stability, etc… I love him with all my heart but at times I want to take a break from our relationship in order to get myself into a career. I have discussed this with him and he always gets this idea that I want our relationship to be OVER. And I don't. He's understanding but sensitive at heart. I've neglected my well-being. I've been lethargic which leads me to be 18lbs overweight in the course of 9 months. Not good. To makes matters worse, he makes fun of me, saying "let me pinch you there" I could take it….. but now I can't. The words really hurt. It doesn't bother me when he buys a MAXIM or Penthouse knowing that I know he doesn't buy it for the articles. It bothers me when he LIES about it. I know guys are pigs. Period. Just last night, he told me, "sometimes you don't have to tell the truth in order to not hurt one's feelings" I was surprised with that statement. So in other words, he has been lying to me at times? I can only speak for myself. I've been honest with my relationship with him. He asked me questions that I know I shouldn't answer, but I answer because that's me. Open, blunt person.
My main reason writing to you Dave, is because I need advice. I read your advice on this site and you're very enlightening. 
This is first time I'm asking for advice from an outside source. This is my first serious relationship with a man I'm in love with. But why is it sometimes I hate him? We fight over the stupidest of things. He has hurt me with words. But ya see they're just words? I've been a stronger person (dealing w/emotions) before him….. and since I've my guard down….. I let it get to me. Is best for me to call it quits with this relationship? Yes, I love him. I think about him everyday. But I haven't been selfish to me. 
I shouldn't lose myself…..
Any words of encouragement is highly appreciated.
First off, thanks for the kind comments. =)
Second of all, not all guys are pigs… Stupid perhaps, but definitely not pigs. 
And yes, most of us are asses as well and it looks like you are dating one though fortunately, you have answered your own question. That's the one funny thing about love, it changes people for the better and also leaves you way open to get hurt by those people looking to take advantage of you. It sounds to me as if your boyfriend has a few issues with self-esteem or he wouldn't be looking to hurt you so much with his verbal abuse. Words are never "just words" and hopefully you will remember that from now on… Sometimes words are a hell of alot more painful than anything physical could ever be.
It's sad that this had to be your first serious relationship because it really isn't like this with someone who loves you and knows how to show it properly. Hopefully, you have already realized that you need to leave this relationship ASAP and start on your way to moving on. Take care!
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